Oh Girl… Why?

We’ve all been there. The scrunchies, baggy t-shirts, too tight pants… we’ve all been to the style hall of shame. And let me tell you- I used to live there. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown an appreciation for style- not just liking what I wear, but looking good in it too.

This was not always the case. I used to just piece together whatever made me comfortable– which is TOTALLY fine. I have nothing against that. However, quite often, the clothing wouldn’t fit, or wasn’t appropriate for my body type.

I went through my Facebook pictures and found the worst of the worst. Bare with me as I show a collection of the worst outfits I have ever worn.

Crocodile Dundee called. Doesn’t even want his shorts back.

I literally winced when I saw this old picture of my best friend and I. I went through an obsessive ruffles phase, and that black sweater was a fashion stape in my exclusive ‘Grandma’s Attic’ collection.

There once was a trendy girl who wore bandanas. I was not her, but a friend of hers. I thought since she looked so cool wearing them, I would be cool too. I was so, so wrong.

Remember the song ‘Jesus Walks’? These were apparently featured in that music video. (Don’t look it up. I lied. They weren’t featured. It’s a joke)
I thought this look was really cool until I went to an Army party and everyone kept asking me to make water into wine.

Oh, this shirt. It came from Ann Taylor Loft. I couldn’t find it in a small, so I settled for a large. I liked it that much, and it fit into my ruffle phase. Looking back, it looks more like something Martin Short donated to the Salvation Army.

I have no idea how Dave was attracted to me when we first started dating. Most girls would wear the short, cute sundresses for visits to North Carolina. Not this girl- she rocked an oversized white tee, ugly bandana, and jeans that were way too big for her.

 

Ugh, that white t-shirt again. In this photo, I caught a breeze, and the shirt maximized to show my true pregnant potential. I didn’t realize how it looked until my Dad saw the picture and asked if I was expecting twins.

Oh girl. Why. Why girl… why?

Another dress from the potato sack collection. WHY?! Nothing about this dress is flattering. My sister looks more attractive in her oversized graduation gown.

For awhile, I thought I was an extra on Gossip Girl. Patterned tights need to go away and never come back. I think even Courtney Love would disapprove this outfit.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Dave and I. Russell was just a puppy then! I ruined it with oversized cargo pants and a t-shirt that just read, “Cali”.

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny, totally unflattering bikini. The entire top is made of ruffles.

And now, THE WORST of the WORST. YES… it gets worse.

Dolly Parton said I could borrow this as long as I didn’t spill anything on it.

Yes, this is me at my senior graduation party. Highlighter yellow hair did not flatter me. Neither did this Paris Hilton inspired frock, (it was actually $300 for the dress), and the awful matching circular matching earrings.

And the official WORST ever…

When I bought these pants, I thought I would channel my inner Sandra Dee. Fail. As I recall, I wore these hot pants that night as well. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, but now that I’m thinking about it… I’m pretty sure they were laughing at these pants. Oh, those summer nights…

What do you think? Which of my previous looks is the worst?

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